But for Chuck Colson asking me in 1979 to become the first Southeastern Regional Director for the new ministry called Prison Fellowship, I probably would have spent the rest of my life without having to arrive at an ironclad conclusion about what Jesus expects from those who are called to his service. I would have fulfilled my duty to Christ in the same way countless millions of Christian men who are not called to full-time Christian service have done: I would have supported my family by working at a good-paying job; I would have gone to Church on Sundays, Wednesday nights and holidays; I would have participated in the life of the congregation in accordance with everyone's understanding of my gifts and calling--and that would have been it. In other words, I would have been able to spend the rest of my life as a Christian who treats the message in Matthew 25 as important, but not absolutely central to my self-image. Colson took the opportunity to be that kind of Christian away when he told me he needed me to go to work with PF.

Until the Lord spoke to me in Matthew 25, I didn't want to do what Chuck had asked me to do: become the first Southeastern Regional Director for the new ministry called Prison Fellowship. My wife, Carol, and I had just had our second child. I had a good job writing and selling ads for a small Atlanta newspaper. Since I had been released from prison only a few months before, the thought of taking a job that required me to go into hundreds of prisons was not a joyful one. Then one night shortly after Chuck offered me the job with Prison Fellowship, I happened to read Matthew 25. I had read it many times before, but I had never really heard it. "As you did it unto the least of these my brothers, ye did it unto me..."

As an ex-convict, I knew first-hand that of all those in the body of Christ, Christian convicts were clearly in the running to qualify as the "least of those." In fact, I concluded, convicts were the least of those. That conclusion put me in the position of either accepting Chuck's job offer or ignoring what I had just learned from the Lord. Rather than take any chance on being the goat Jesus talked about in Matthew 25, I went to work for Prison Fellowship.

The next several years of my life were utterly amazing. What made them most amazing was the fact that they were almost a diametric opposite of the life I had led before I surrendered to Jesus. Before Jesus revealed Himself to me as alive and well and in charge, I had been a hippy-dippy anti-war protesting marijuana man who got busted in 1973 for possession with intent to distribute hashish oil while a student at the University of Georgia. About the only Christians I had known outside my and my wife's family were some hippy-dippy Jesus freaks who were not exactly orthodox in their exegesis and hermeneutical principles. While in prison, I had surrendered to Jesus and because of my testimony had been selected as one of the first groups of prisoners furloughed to the new ministry started by Chuck Colson called Prison Fellowship. I had gone to Washington, D.C. for two weeks and there had met Colson, Richard Halverson, Doug Coe, R.C. Sproul, and many others with names well known in evangelical Christians circles. They had helped me understand exactly what Jesus was doing when he revealed Himself to me, and they showed me what it was like to be surrounded by mighty men of God who cared for you and wanted to help. Now, with Prison Fellowship, I traveled across the southeastern United States staying in the homes of Christians who loved me in spite of the fact that I had once represented everything they had held to be unclean and unholy about the Vietnam generation. And I found myself loving those people like I had never been able to love anyone outside my family. Like I said, it was amazing.

And things got more amazing. After I had worked for PF for about five years, I got a scholarship to Westminster Theological Seminary in Philadelphia where I had a chance to spend three years studying the Bible in Greek and Hebrew and listening to some of the most Godly and learned people in the world talk about the Jesus who had saved me and given me a new life like none I could have ever imagined possible.

Oh, it wasn't all ice cream and cake with strawberries on top. It was hard supporting a wife and three children: my wife had to work at jobs that didn't challenge or please her, the kids were forced to grow up far from grandparents and other close relatives, grow up as southerners in yankee land. But we knew there was a purpose in our being there, a purpose that led to many wonderful opportunities to grow in service to the Lord who had called us to full-time Christian service, service to the "least of those." That's why, in spite of the day to day difficulties, we were as happy a Christian family as you're likely to find on this planet.

And then one day the whole thing fell apart. Flat disintegrated. One day I was full of myself as a righteous Godly man--if not man of God (I hadn't been ordained yet): I was teaching Prison Fellowship seminars in prisons all across the United States, spending day after day telling prisoners how much Jesus loved us and what it meant that he had died for our sins, died so we could be set free from bondage to the sin that had gotten us in prison in the first place; the next day I was up to my ears in blood, gore and guts, convicted of being a liar, a hypocrite, and a murderer. In the space of two days my world fell apart, my self-image disintegrated, and I found myself spread eagled with my face buried in the dirt begging Jesus to forgive me for what I was afraid was unforgivable sin.

When I got up off the ground, I was angry, angry with myself that I had let myself do what I saw I had done, angry with the Church because I had not been taught how to avoid what I found myself doing. This anger began to propel me. I spoke to everyone I knew trying to find a way out of my disaster. The more I talked to people the more confused and upset I became. It became obvious that I was virtually alone, aside from a few people scattered across the country who seemed to sense the same reality I perceived, the great mass of Christians in this nation seemed utterly oblivious to what I now understood to be the present reality of the Church in the United States of America. Nobody seemed to see what I was seeing! And on top of that, when I tried to explain what I was seeing and feeling, nobody wanted to hear what I had to say!

What did I see? I found myself in a web of sin that was so all-encompassing that I was simply unable to imagine how escape could be found in this world, in this life.

In order to survive, I launched a two-pronged attack on the problem: I searched the Scriptures and I searched for people who could help me understand. As I talked to Christian people, I encountered little that was of assistance because I found it was extremely difficult to explain why I believed myself to be a liar, hypocrite and murderer. Two reasons made the explanation difficult: (1) I didn't kill anybody with my own hands, in fact there are those who say I didn't kill anybody at all, so getting people to see what I did wrong was the first difficulty; (2) when Christians began to understand what I think I did wrong, they got very uncomfortable because they soon realize that if my analysis was correct, they did exactly the same thing: that makes Christians not want to listen.

What follows is R rated for mature Christians because it contains the soul-cries of a deeply disturbed and confused man who thought he was following Jesus to the cross, but woke up and found that, instead, he was the Levite walking past the man the Samaritan had to pull out of the ditch.

The form might seem at first confusing. Here's why: when I initially tried to tell Christians about the catastrophe that had befallen me, I encountered real difficulty in getting my message across: on the one hand, I didn't understand exactly what had happened to me; and, on the other hand, people felt threatened by what little I did understand. In order to overcome both of these difficulties I wrote my explanation as if it was a disciplinary report about me submitted by a good Christian brother who was worried that I might have lost contact with reality. My thinking went like this: if they don't want to hear what I've got to say, maybe they'll listen if they think they're not being put on the spot. And this way, maybe I can find somebody that'll help me out of the trouble I'm in.

So I tried to find a way to be heard by Christians who had become increasingly skilled at avoiding conversation with me. The form is that of a conversation between myself and an invented Church elder (I named him Dr. Al Terego. Get it? Alter ego. Cute, huh?) who was reporting to the Church at large about my abnormal behavior. While the conversation occurred only in my imagination, the content of the conversation is my best effort to define the actual facts that I experienced which brought me to the most dangerous crisis I have ever faced in my life as a Christian. I sent it to every Christian in the United States that I had an address for. It worked well on one level: a lot of people who had ignored things I had written in the past were able to find time to read allegations made against me; on another level it was a disaster. Most every Christian I knew quit talking to me.

The reason I am on the verge of exposing you to it is because there were some Christians who indicated what I had to say was worth their while.

DISCIPLINARY REPORT TO THE CHURCH

by

Dr. Al Terego

Dear Brother and Sister in Christ,

Matthew 18 outlines the proper procedure to follow in dealing with cases of Church discipline. Enclosed is the transcript of a recorded interview with a man named Otis O'Neal Horsley. When you read it I am sure you will see why it is necessary to turn this information over to you, the Church.

But first, background information. Neal Horsley (he is called by that name) is an ex-convict who, ten years ago, says he surrendered himself to Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior. His behavior at that time left little reason to question the truth of that commitment and, in fact, resulted in his being selected upon release from prison for the position of Southeast Regional Director of the ministry of Prison Fellowship, the organization founded by Charles W. Colson.

A 1985 article published by Prison Fellowship outlined his accomplishments with that organization, "The first director for the southeast region, he mobilized and organized Prison Fellowship's volunteer ministry in seven states. After six years with Prison Fellowship, Neal attended Westminster Theological Seminary on a scholarship provided by Prison Fellowship. This past May, Neal graduated with a Master of Arts in Religion."

Aside from the obvious fact that Neal Horsley was a criminal before his alleged conversion, there is nothing in such a resume to explain the behavior now demanding Church discipline.

I became involved in this investigation because of a...I'm not sure what to call it...I suppose "item of propaganda" would be as precise as any. This disturbing item was brought to my attention because it had been found on a table designated for ministry literature in one of the buildings at the Westminster campus in Philadelphia. Since the item was unsigned, investigation was required before I was able to determine beyond question that the author was Neal Horsley. I have enclosed the item so that you may understand why it was necessary to confront the man. It follows:

PEOPLE URGING KINDLY ENTREATY

Amid the current maelstorm (sic) of incivility and reprehensible indecorum, the public waits for a voice that can return us to an acceptable state of decency.

Such a voice can be found in this organization. "People Urging Kindly Entreaty" is committed to trailblazing the way to that condition of compromised balance necessary for an orderly democratic society.

As few will deny, compromise is the cornerstone upon which this republic must rest. The absence of this spirit of compromise necessarily causes our republic to sink into the mire of discontent. "People Urging Kindly Entreaty" will change all this.

It is our goal to forge those conditions under which compromise can occur. Paramount in importance is the necessity for a clear and candid grasp of reality: not things as they should be, but things as they actually are. Upon such a grasp of reality alone can compromise be constructed.

This requires us to define some things many would desire to leave poorly or totally undefined.

Take for example the issue of abortion, surely one of the most divisive and potentially explosive issues looming on our public horizon. "People Urging Kindly Entreaty" proposes a compromise that is built upon the solid ground of objective fact. It is our contention that compromise has been impossible to achieve in this issue because selective perception has chosen to ignore clearly discernible facts.

During the Vietnam era, one of the more common inner-city graffiti stated, "What if they gave a war and nobody came?" This graffiti offered a succinct summary of one point of view concerning the war. Similarly, the current abortion reality could be summarized by declaring, "We gave a war but didn't tell anybody, so everybody came."

And so we did.

Legalized abortion is war against people who, if allowed to live, could destroy us all. "People Urging Kindly Entreaty" recognizes the reality of this war and, further, the necessity for it. Our current inability to find grounds for compromise can be traced to the fact that reasonable people have been unwilling to face one simple fact: this war is absolutely necessary for our survival.

Anyone familiar with the consequences of an overpopulated planet has to concede that our survival is dependent upon reducing our burgeoning population. If a war to eliminate poverty and a war to eliminate drugs is necessary, surely there can be little argument against the necessity for a war to eliminate overpopulation. And war inevitably produces casualties.

Our inability to find compromise on this abortion fiasco can be traced to poorly-handled tactical considerations. Certain unpleasant, but obviously justified, consequences of this war in which abortion is our most effective weapon were simply not anticipated. Leadership failed to anticipate the understandable revulsion created by an unseemly casualty-disposable system; and leadership's failure is at the root of public disapprobation with this issue. Even in war, certain amenities must be observed if at all possible.

In other words, we must give the little buggers a decent burial.

While "People Urging Kindly Entreaty" would never suggest full military honors are necessary, it is certainly feasible to set aside some unused public land near every municipality which could be designated as a quasi-military cemetery. There, each day, casualties could be transported and interred, with the drivers perhaps authorized to conduct some brief, informal services. (A simple armband for the drivers, and a small flag would suffice.) Upon such compromises to public discontent, a stable and decent democracy is built.

It is the purpose of "People Urging Kindly Entreaty" (PUKE) to continue to offer insightful and timely grounds of compromise on all the issues of the day. Won't you join with us as we restore our nation to decent, civilized discussion leading to compromise. Is it not your duty?

Sincerely,

Political Action Committee

People Urging Kindly Entreaty (PUKE)

I admit I was initially confused by this item. I finally concluded it must be someone's attempt at satire--sick satire to say the least. I was deeply concerned about the soul-safety of the person writing this item because, after close inspection, I glimpsed a spirit of anger frightening in its intensity.

The interview was conducted in January, 1988. After Neal Horsley had confessed to writing the item above, I asked him to explain himself.

CONTINUE

You Can Mail A Donation To: Neal Horsley, PO Box 1081, Carrollton, Ga 30116,

Or If You Can't Donate Now, Click Below and Join The We Choose Life Network.
Use Your Internet Connection Fee To Help Deter People From Butchering God's Children