A Real Cautionary Tale
 
(Christian Gallery Movie Review, March 22, 2008)  If you're not up on your Latin, the ad above from the movie "Teeth" contains the Latin phrase, vagina dentata, which means "teeth in the vagina".
 
That's right, I'm not being facetious, and your eyes are not deceiving you.  There  is actually a movie in distribution in this nation today with a plot line that focuses in extreme close-up on a female--the fetching teenage female pictured above--whose vagina has grown viciously effective teeth.
 
And there you have the perfect metaphor for our time: Truly, today the vagina has teeth.
 
You don't have to actually view the movie to imagine where the movie takes the metaphor, with mean old male penises being severed right and left...and deservedly so.  As it stands, the movie is a metaphor for the new empowerment of women, the new ability of the female to protect herself from the age-old victimization and terrorization imposed by male penises who (that) stabbed the defenseless female willy-nilly and helter-skelter throughout the ages.
 
But what the movie does not hint at (and what the movie makers never imagined would be seen to be the moral of their movie) the movie dramatically and clearly documents another reality--and this picture of the teeth in the world's vagina is no metaphor but a living, blood-red reality.  Today the vaginas of the world are viciously chewing up little babies by the tens of thousands each and every day that passes in this world.  Like a ravenous beast of unimaginable size with a rapacious and voracious appetite for human flesh, the vaginas of this world are chomping and chewing and ripping and tearing the flesh of the defenseless little babies who happened to find themselves conceived by God in the wombs of females with vicious fangs in their vaginas.
 
The movie "Teeth" documents and spotlights the fact that we are living in a unique time on this planet.  Never before in the history of peoplekind has a species evolved where the child-bearing member of the species has teeth in her (its) birth canal, teeth that the child-bearer can utilize to rend to death new life if that new life is perceived to be a matter of inconvenience rather than convenience.
 
Anyone who has ever been present at the birth of a human child and watched the meaning of the word "labor" brought into real-world perspective will understand what I am about to say.  Today it is a miracle that any child at all is born alive.  What with the awesome pain and travail of child-birth, coupled with the proliferation of federal government-created teeth in the vagina, it is a wonder than any child at all is born alive among us.
 
Maybe that is the real moral of the time we live in.  We could well be witnessing the time when females finally realized they never have to be child-bearers ever again.
 
Inconceivable?
 
We've already seen things from the females of our species that would have been literally unimaginable a century ago.  From where I stand there is simply no telling what females with teeth in their vaginas are apt to do.
 
And just think, you have the chance to be the first generation in America to have for your very own a President (POTUS) with teeth in her vagina.

 
 
Neal Horsley
Christian Gallery News Service Movie Reviewer
 
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